Thursday, December 29, 2005

Performance Session

Gosh! I hate giving sessions! Especially on those disgusting topics!
Alas, fate has its way and I hope it has something better in store.


keeping my fingers crossed
for the time being ;)

When dusk approaches!

When dusk approaches…

~ Written by Robyn



A certain someone told me once that our friendship is sure to last for a lifetime. But it has been ages now since we talked and I am not sure why destiny seems to be rude with me at certain times! I always accept it with a silent heart when a relationship dies. But when they die without a reason, it becomes tougher for me to handle! When someone suddenly disappears from your life, you are sure to feel a void in your heart. Friends are like jigsaw puzzles. You will never find two pieces of a similar kind. And the place of a chum can never be replaced by another friend. I still miss the wonderful, warm morning rays that my special miss sunshine used to spread everyday! Time and time I remind myself that I should not mourn the loss of a relation that was born without a reason. “God giveth and God taketh!” is what I often hear at most of the sermons and I have got to digest it with a pinch of salt. Times change and along with it, people change too. Although I have trained myself to get used to the darkness, I keep hoping that things will be fine. Everyone has got a bag of problems and it is difficult to let go of special people in life. Life is like a game of snake and ladders. Sometimes we realize that taking certain steps forward would eventually take us many steps backward. Letting go has never been easy and holding on can be as difficult! Yet, strengths are measured not by holding on, but by letting go!

It reminds me of a story of a little girl who had a pet goldfish. She was so fascinated with it that she used to talk with it day and night! One day she asked her mother, “Mom, fishes don’t sleep, do they?” Her mother saw that the fish was lying on its side at the bottom of the tank. The mother took her worried daughter in her arms and tried to explain the cycle of birth and death. She could not console her daughter’s tears. But eventually, after a few days, the little girl was smiling at life again and she asked her mom to get her another pet fish. Her mom said, “But sweetheart, won’t you be sad when the new one dies some day?” The girl replied, “I definitely will, but the happiness it provides, while it is alive, is worth the loss when it dies!”


The little girl had given a moral - “Love without a reason!” While it is always true, that you should never expect anything in return when you give, we mundane humans seldom have a selfless heart! “Why did this happen to me?”, “I am so devastated”, “Why is she/he not talking to me?” Questions of this sort start bombarding the humble mind. We start groping for answers to unsolved problems. In the end we end up dejected and unhappy and unsatisfied with life. One day or the other, we must all learn to tackle problems. Avoiding the situations of life is not a good solution. And now, I have taught myself to be more forgiving. But still it pains whenever I see a close friend pass by you without a smile! And I hum to myself the famous MLTR song,


Don't know what to say now, don't know where to start
I don't know how to handle, a complicated heart
You tell me you are leaving, but I just have to say
before you throw it all away
Even if you want to go alone
I will be waiting when you're coming home
if you need someone to ease the pain
you can lean on me, my love will still remain
Don't know what you're thinking, to me it seems quite tough
to hold a conversation, when words are not enough
so this is your decision and there's nothing I can do
I can only say to you

Even if you want to go alone
I will be waiting when you're coming home
if you need someone to ease the pain
you can lean on me, my love will still remain
[© MLTR – Complicated Heart]



Managing people has been one of the most complex topics for me because people and buttons come in all sizes and colors. There is no ready made solution for a people-problem and every individual needs to be treated differently and independently. Sometimes I get sick of trying to handle people. Especially when I seem to fail and when I start losing out on friends, it becomes distressing for me and I avoid getting closer to people! It takes a few days for the wound to heal. And after the pain has slowly sedated, I try and make new friends. Smiling calmly at the pain of a loss, I try to regain and review my spirit! After all, life is a mixture of ups and downs, gains and losses, smiles and tears.
Change is the only thing that is constant in life and we have got to accept this fact. When you move to a different destination in this journey of life, you will meet more passengers and strangers. Some may stay with you for a longer time, while others wave goodbye at the stations in between!

When dusk approaches, keep waiting for dawn!

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

Grace under Fire

Grace under Fire

Eternity was shocked, at the carnage that she saw
Frenetically drubbed was the corroborative law
The philanthropists were mused with ambivalent thoughts
Amid masochists of fate, how bravely she fought

The encroaching enemy was nearing but too soon
However stood she serenely, lonely like the moon
The night was spooky, and the attack was bizarre
Fighting disdainful flak, victory was not too far

Her stratagem was clicking, it’ was a benediction from above
She was armed with glory, grace was gifted with love
The murky cloud was cleared, the lost amity re-gained
Grace's wounded bleeding heart, never displayed how it pained

With the deadpan style of her, victory she had brought
Grace was now smiling, coz it meant to her a lot
Facing anticipated cortege and the consequences so dire
No one could defeat her, coz grace was under fire.


-- Written by Robyn